False pride

What do you think of this quote:
"The myth of independence is not the mark of self-sufficiency, but the mark of pride."

When I read that, it plays havoc with my mind and I'll tell you why.  I was raised by my mother after she left my father when I was three years old.  There were four of us kids and I was the youngest.  I don't remember my father's drunkeness or his cruelly beating my mother.  My siblings do/did.  They were 6, 7, and 10 years older than I.  From what I've heard it was horrific.  A story that, or course, sticks in MY mind is that one time my father was mad at my mother again for something or other and used my life to threaten her.  I was a baby and he held me, saying he was going to throw me against the wall.  No matter how my mother begged, he wouldn't put me down.  But, my sister Judy begged him to give me to her and he finally acquiesced.  Judy really saved my life.  I tell you that to show you the kind of abuse and torment my mother endured for 14 years.

Evidently, because of that torment my mother became fiercely independent.  I mean fiercely!  She wouldn't take anything from anybody.  She worked at Jack's Cookie Company in Baton Rouge, standing on her feet all day long, packing cookies.  ~~~a side track for a moment.  My mother always smelled like cookies!  When she stepped off the bus after work, the neighborhood kids would follow her home. :)  She gave the best cookie hugs!  A few times, I was able to visit her at work and being a cute little blonde haired blue eyed girl at the time, I was given special treatment.  I walked through the cookie company and saw vats of icing taller than me! It smelled so good and cookies were everywhere!  I'd watch the ladies at the conveyer belts, picking up long rows of cookies and placing them in boxes.  After the tour I was taken to the store in front and told that I could pick out whichever pack of the broken cookies I wanted. :)  Now THAT was the BEST gift for this little girl!  And, across the street from the cookie company was a coffee roasting company! When you walked down the street you smelled fresh roasted coffee and freshly baked cookies.  Oh my!  So that's where my love for both started~~~okay back to Mama.

As I said, Mama worked at the cookie company all day long and part of the year she would also work at the J.C. Penney's store to earn Christmas money.  I remember Mama saying that she earned $32/week.  That was for five of us.  Can you imagine??  The cost of living was much lower at the time, but $32 was still not much.  Our rent was subsidized by the government which helped.  We ate a lot of red beans and rice.  Lots.  And, I loved it, especialy with ketchup.  Spam and bologna were also staples.  I did not feel poor although obviously we were.  Mama was a great seamstress and she made a lot of our clothes.  Mama worked and worked and worked.  I don't remember her complaining,come to think of it.  I do remember her being tired.

But, no matter how tired Mama was, she REFUSED to accept charity!  She wouldn't think of it!!  I remember especially one Christmas when the Salvation Army or some other group brought a box of toys to our house...used toys, some were broken.  The neighborhood, or Village as we called it, kids followed the folks to our house as they carried this big box and all congregated at our duplex door.  We kids scavenged through the box, 'oohing' and 'ahhing' over the toys.  We were so excited!  But then Mama came home.   I remember the fiery indignation with which she spoke when seeing that box of charity toys.  Oh my goodness!! You would have thought that they slapped us in the face!  She said that we did NOT accept charity and she WOULD NOT have it!  She called the Salvation Army and told them to come get that box immediately!  And, they did.  My Mama would provide for us and didn't need their help, thank you very much!   Whew!  That took me by surprise.  I don't remember how the others felt, but I sure remember how I felt!  I felt upset and yet proud.  Proud.  Proud that my mother was so proud.

She taught us to never expect or even desire anyone to give us anything, but to do it ourselves!  Mama passed that pride right down to us four kids and we never forgot it.  We are..or were (two of us have passed away) extremely proud people.

However, I have learned some things about pride in all of these years.  I've learned that 'pride goes before the fall'.  I've learned that pride is something that God abhors.  We shouldn't be so proud that we think we don't need anyone, especially God.  Mama came to learn that she needed God.  We both accepted Christ on the same day at the same time.  She never, however, was comfortable with needing people.  She was fiercely independent and it was difficult to see her become a bit dependent when she developed dementia.  I know that it was hard for her to live away from home, not be able to drive, and depend on people to bring her what she wanted.  I tried to make it as easy as possible and give her some say in what happened, bring her shopping from time to time.  But, it was difficult.

Being proud....what's the good and what's the bad?  False pride is thinking you know it all and have it all and don't need anybody.  However, pride in oneself is necessary to a degree, don't you think?  People might say about a person, "He needs to take more pride in himself!"  Meaning, he has bad hygeine or doesn't dress appropriately, whatever.  And, yes, people do need to take care of themselves, to honor the person God created them to be.  Foolish pride is thinking you're 'all that and a bag o'chips'.  Or thinking you are self-sufficient...don't need anybody.

I'd say my Mama had a bit of both foolish pride and pride in herself.  I think we all do.  The key is not to let ourselves think that we have control over everything in life.  We NEED God.  Without Him we don't even have breath!! And, truth is, we need people.  We need love, comfort, fellowship, encouragement, exhortation, help.  We can get those things from God and people...but we really sometimes have to ask for them.  Foolish pride would stop one from asking for any kind of help.  Humility is a requirement.  Who likes being humble?  Well, Jesus who was King became servant.  That's humble.

God help us realize that we are only human, not superhuman.  As humbling as it is sometimes we need people.  Help us be kind to one another and help each other even before being asked to help.  And, if someone offers to help, make us willing to accept that as a gift from You.

Teach us about pride, Lord.  Only You speak complete truth, so let us hear it.  Please.