Good grief! Bad grief!

It's not just death that people grieve, it's divorce, betrayal, absentee father or mother, broken relationships, lost hope, lost jobs, lost homes, friends moving away.   We humans have a lot to deal with.  I'm thankful, so thankful that God doesn't leave us no matter what we do or say!!!  Thank you God!

 Everybody goes through grief in their own way.  You can't judge someone because you think their grief is taking too long or you think they didn't grieve enough.  It's an individual thing and it comes in stages...and it comes in surprising moments of time when you don't expect it.

Can you think of what you've lost in the past year, two years, five years, ten years?  Sure, we all can.  We won't all deal with that loss in the same way.  Some of us push it way down and try to never think of it again, some of us can just chalk it up to life and get on with it!, some of us dwell on it and are depressed, some of us turn inward and shut people out so that we're not hurt again, and sometimes we do all of those things in stages.  At least that's my observation.

It's uncomfortable for a lot of people, especially men(IMHO), to talk about suffering and sadness or to see someone cry.  So a lot of times when we bare our souls or shed our tears and tell our stories, people back off.  They either don't understand because it's not something they've experienced or they don't know what to say.  Then you can feel more isolated. You can become bitter.

I've watched some of my friends with their losses and grief.  Some close and some from afar.  We're all so different.  A former co-worker lost her husband this year in an accident.  I see her from afar and I see her carrying on with life and work with such strength!! She's a Christian.  She's a strong woman!  I know she's sad and finding her way through the newness of her situation, but she shows such resolve to get on with things and live!  I admire that.

A friend lost her father not long ago, I saw her close up.  I saw her tears, cried with her, held her, loved her through it.  It's been hard for her, but she has carried on.  I see a little bit of bitterness and anger, but I also see wounds and hurt.  She'll be okay, she came from good stock.  I admire her for doing the very best she can in a tough situation.

I've watched a mother who lost her daughter this year and another who lost her young son.  Another precious missionary couple lost their son several years ago, and still another lost their young daughter!  I can't comprehend it!! I can't fathom what they're dealing with and God forgive me, I pray I never do!!  How can anyone deal with that?!  The crushing pain, the horrible emptiness, the guilt that seems to come with parenthood!  I've watched the complete agony in their sobs, in their eyes.  Oh, Lord. Those moms and dads I mentioned are carrying on through their continued grief.  They've found the strength to keep going and to do it with grace and to do it well.  I admire them so much.

I've watched parents whose child has had a serious, near death experience this year.  I've watched their love and faith, I've seen peace in their eyes even when it's mixed with concern.  I've seen them hold steady in the face of staggering physical and emotional trauma to their child.  I admire them.


God Himself knows our pain.  He knew the pain that He, in the form of Christ, would suffer, the sin He would carry for us...but also that He would rise again. And, I'm so thankful He did!  God knows that each of us will rise again one way or another.  {It must be agonizing for Him to know that some will choose to be separated from Him forever} He welcomes His children home and wants to encourage us that they are okay! He has them now.  He feels our pain no matter to what our grief is due, death, lonliness, separation, whatever!  He feels the pain of those mothers and fathers who lose a child. He counts our tears, dries our eyes, has His hand gently at our back encouraging us along.  We can run to Him and cry.  Sometimes we long for a human to understand!!! To tell us what to do!! To guide us to the next step! Come on! HELP ME!   But, the best they can do, the very best they can do is cry with us, love us, pray for us, encourage us.  They can't fix it, they can't carry us through it, but God can.

As I continue in this year of grief after the loss of my last sister, I have moments like everyone else.  I'm not as strong as some, yet stronger than others I suppose.  But, I'm hanging on, doing my best and when I can pray.....there are sometimes I can't, but God knows what my heart cries for....I find peace.  It can be easy to get lost in the quagmire of grief and push everyone away because you don't want to be left again.  Strange paradox, that. An unhealthy one.

So, let's pray for each other.  Pray for those who are going through their grief now and for those who will go through grief in the future, because all humans face it one way or another.  Pray that we become good examples of the love and strength of God to those who have no hope of seeing their loved ones in the future.  Pray that we remember that we have hope and all is not lost!  Pray that we see the good in every day and enjoy the people who are still here.  Pray that we forgive each other when we fail and love each other in our weaknesses.  Let's be kind to each other and when we mess up and act in an unkind way, let's ask forgiveness and give forgiveness and get on with life!

Live, love, breathe, keep going, laugh, carry on.  Live long and prosper. :)
Be blessed!